...and scene.

silent song in my head...verses from
Sola
Bach
images from Goya
my chemical romance now dead fire and shards of ice
murdered memory of black monster
my hard heart invites a felony
taunting you to steal this decade's resolution
wide open holes in my brain let in refrain of
this new sound
found myself again just in time
innoculated against foolish lust
now (sardonic laugh)
make me love you if you dare.

stranger

tell of the fire in the plain/spread with roar/plaintive strains cut us to our earth/once thief now cold mercenary for Allah.../child has brought shame to...the name of who he calls... Almighty...Peace Bringer/this harbringer of decay ...he../feeds maggots already fat on pestilence of our own hands.../this son of our land.../he has taken his stand and../thought up ways for the world to get caught up.../in rage that will consume his own brothers.../grandmother in hiding shudders.../black lace sari symbol of funeral song written in sand outside clay hut.../ah!! again...you have made mama cry.

stoic

strength from
an age before me
carries me
and
guides me away from
that hate that
would take
my life
if
i
let it
now i slowely regain
joy i find
in
honey green tea
and
leafy conversation
chioma's laugh
ozzie's legitimate consternation
temi's depth
teekay's constant affection
love's slow obliteration
of
any doubt
that the heart in me lives on
i am made for love and music

for koya the gatekeeper

i can hear
your voice
in my feet
walking me
through
underbrush laced with a
thousand thorns
remember when
you
talked me through
my night terrors
candle of comfort
hand held over yours
we ran with no shoes across scorpion sands
together
my friend from then, here... till ever
i swear i can not love
you
more than
i do now.

these early days

warm
gold flecked warm irises
from center of his sweet heart
this sweetheart
called
man from the song
is
warm
his words flowing into my mouth
i already
feel
warm
kisses from his
head
he says;
"can we walk...?
your
heart is yours to keep
as long as
you let me sleep...
inside your womb
hide inside your hand..
be
warm"
and
i
slip hand into
backpocket of his
faded jeans
and i
walk with him
and my
tiny palm against
his
firm buttocks feels...
warm.

as we once were

trained to kill…we see we are now victims of our own…futile attempts to live at the center of the world…/advocates of all that is downtrodden and ill-gotten…/we have become the passionless and obscene…/riding on the waveless low-tide of mediocrity….how can we now claim to be blessed of the Father…/I laugh at my foolish illusions now…/those dreams of grandeur and free-flowing honor…/as I stare into gaping maw of unfinished business…/these recesses of untold imagination…/dark machinations of all that causes us to cease to live as our Maker intended…./we have silenced fire that burned us into refined gods of precious metal…/we have quenched gamma rays of piercing heat ….that constant reminder that pain and deep sacrifice precedes power and gifts from heaven…/enough of these times when we hear tell of exploits of others…/let us forget foibles....fling far from us fear causing us to fornicate with our foes for mere trifles....capture these autumn days and wax golden with the leaves….strong with the east wind…/majestic with the turn of trees that stand naked and unashamed…ready for diamond icicles from the throat of the winter king to come adorn…/come dream a little dream for the home we have left behind.

loss

alone and wide awake in this….dense growth of frozen opportunity…failed continuity…/I wonder when the end of this stillness will begin…/when that fiend that haunts and steals from my dreams will…/let me be…/allow me to see the promise that I know has been captured and sealed in that ….finely blown cinnamon colored jar…/writhing in....this tangible agony…/flecks of saliva seethe from between my teeth…/like crazed soulless wanderer…/I have become…stammerer…unable to speak my own victory into a solution for my doom…/soon I begin to wonder at the vastness of this God that carved his last name into depths of my swollen brain and…/through the pain of this… fresh contusion…I remember…healing springs of solace…/I find in my solitude what suddenly seemed like lost purpose…mere minutes before…/and I wonder if I can ever truly hold my godfather to ransom…/when did faith become quid pro quo…/when did I ever really know…what He had in his card stack for me…/since when did I wait for fate to show His hand before I believed and took a stand…

….when did I begin to lose my Faith.